My name is Baxter, I look like a dog but I'm actually a pig.

My name is Ninja. I'm quite mad.

I was born in the city of New Plymouth, in the country of New Zealand on the 5th of November 1961 (don't work out my age, it's embarrassing).  My birthday is Guy Fawkes day, which is appropriate as my life has been filled with explosions and failed plots. 
When I was 17 I joined the New Zealand Police, which turned out to be a really, really, bad idea.  I was rubbish at being a policeman and got thrown out after 2 years.  It wasn't a complete waste of time though, as I wrote 2 books about my experiences and people seemed to like them. 
After the constabulary disaster I went overseas for a few years, worked as a labourer on a building site, a barman and a landscape gardener.  I was generally rubbish at all of those things as well. 
I came home, got married and discovered I could write. 
So I did.  Firstly as an advertising copywriter and then as an author and screenwriter. 
I have also been an actor, best known as Glenn Goober, a big, dumb inventor who gets blown up a lot.
I have a wife, a daughter, a dog and a cat.  I should say more about them but I've run out of space....